Perpatrating Thoughts: Ohhhhh Poop

The English language is a funny thing. For example, the word “poop”. There is no word that describes itself better than the word “poop”. I recognize and respect this. However, I also think that it is the worst word ever created. How is it that words like “shi-“ and “crap” are considered curse words, but “poop” is not ? (some of you may NOT consider “crap” a cuss word, but growing up in my house, that word was not allowed…at least I don’t think it was…I never tested mama and papa censor on that one). Which leads me to this question…when did certain words become curse words? Did the word “shi-“ just automatically get assigned to this category? Is there a committee somewhere that decides this? (besides the FCC) Was “poop” ever considered before “shi” as the ultimate cuss word for feces?

I would like to start the movement where "poop" is considered a curse word...who's with me? And I would like be nominated to join the Curse Word Committee of the World (CWCW)...if it exists.

Also, the dictionary shows the word "poop" as a mono-syllabic word. I defy the person who can say this in one syllable. The second "p" always causes a second syllable to be heard (either "poopah" or "poopppp[spit in face]).

"I am 30" birthday trip

I could not be more behind on blogging.
Three weeks ago we went to Gatlinburg with our friends Carol and Doug for my 30th birthday. Well... Mike and I asked them if they were up to getting into a giant human hamster ball (you will recall if you read our March posts) and rolling down a hill, they said yes. We must have forgot to mention it was for my 30th, because they did not even realize it was my birthday until we were 3 hours into the drive and Christina Dooley called to wish me happy birthday. I must be growing up because I would not have found that funny a few years ago, however it just added to the humorous things that happened on this trip.

Here we are on the pouch, where we sat most of the weekend, having kid free meals, "drinks", playing cards, reading books, enjoying the view... Carol and I dominated in cards by the way!
Our number 1 funny was the Dixie Stampede.
It is one of the top 4 things to do in Gatlinburg so it sounded like a great idea. As to why it took us getting hit with the overwhelming smell of animal poop when we entered the "arena" to realize that a live animal dinner show might stink a little... (well a lot) I am not sure.

I have to say SOME of the show was entertaining, but the fact you eat with your hands (thats right, they don't give you silverware) and smell poopy the whole time... well lets just say I actually gaged while eating my apple pastry. I had to post this picture I found of the meal just to see if it makes Carol gag a little when she reads this.
Which reminds me... when the animals first came out and began to kick around dirt and stir up the smell more... Carol began to quickly grab napkins in attempt to protect her empty plate. I am sure she realized this was silly after the fact, considering she had to uncover her plate so people could run by and throw (that is not an exaggeration) an entire chicken on her plate that she would then have to rip apart with her hands while poop sand was flying around... did I mention we were in the second row? We paid extra for that! I actually saw some of the sand fly into the 3rd row... did it hit someones chicken... maybe?

Anyway, I am not sure which was more odd...

1. The fact NO ONE else around us seemed to notice the smell??

2. The odd civil war plot... it was some attempt to have a north vs south competition... yes that is what I said. We were confident before arriving they might have confederate flags. When I bought tickets I had to state weather I wanted to be on the north or south, at first I was not sure I understood the woman, but it was not the connection... she asked me if I wanted to cheer for the north or the south. They kinda breezed over the guts of "civil war" plot seeing as it would be very inappropriate to "reenact" and instead moved into some crazy animal races with people riding ostridges. Mike felt this might be the worst 50.00 we have each spent... I feel like it was well worth it as I will NEVER forget dinner on my 30th!

Did I mention this is a Dolly Parton production... At the end of the show is some odd video about how there really is no north or south but we are all one country and then she busts into God Bless America or something like that... at this point I was in shock and my laughter might have been getting inappropriate.

On to the best part of the trip... here are the giant hamster balls. I think the picture says it all.

Here is a video of Mike and I coming down the hill in a ball together. We forgot to tell Carol which way to hold the camera... sorry it is sideways, you get the idea.

After we were done rolling down hills in balls we moved onto hiking. It is hard to see in this picture, but the black thing in the middle of the picture is a bear. We happen to see a mama bear and two cubs... scary but neat.
This was the waterfall we were hiking to... very very pretty.
I am sure Mike and Doug were having some wonderful discussion about loving God or loving their wives as they sat on this log.
On the way home Doug had to get some Blue Bell ice cream... only found in the south apparently. I am sure we passed about 10 nice rest stops with picnic areas. But, for some reason we are enjoying it in a parking lot of a Rite Aid.

We had a great time with lots of laughs.

New Addition to Blog: Perpetrating Your Thoughts

I'd like to welcome a new contributor to the blog: Mike Kuebler from Indianapolis, IN. Mike is going to contribute weekly, his thoughts on life, marriage, fatherhood, religion, politics, sports, and Bob Knight. His weekly segment entitled, "Perpetrating your thoughts" will truly enrich your daily internal discussions with yourself or at least make you wonder why Kari is married to such a moron. And now it's time to perpetrate your thoughts:

Tooth picks. Kari hates the fact that I chew on tooth picks after a meal. And it made me wonder...why is it that you so often see men chewing on tooth picks, but not women? Hmm. I think it goes back to our ancestry. Throughout most of human history, it was the man that went out to hunt and bring back meat to share with the family. I'm sure that on occasion, the man would go out hunting along with his homies and kill a deer or something and decide to cook that thing up, drink some brews (or fermented berry water), and just chill...perhaps coming up with farfetched ideas like the concept of the wheel. Of course, knowing that he stayed out too late with his buddies, he probably needed a way to hide what he was doing so that he wouldn't get in trouble coming home. So, he probably took a small bone from the deer and picked all the meat out of his mouth. No meat in the teeth equals no evidence and no trouble. Those small bones probably evolved into the modern day tooth pick. So, when I'm leaving a restaurant and pick up a tooth pick, Kari needs to realize that I can't fight off something that is just innate within me. And perhaps she should even thank me, perhaps it's because of small deer bones (old school tooth picks) that we have the wheel today.